To Finish or To Change?

I love having lists. I make grocery lists but not just in general. I break it down into smaller lists for each store. Then I make to-do lists, menu lists, kid activity lists, income lists, expense lists, mailing lists, and those are just a few that I can think of right now. About two minutes ago, I made a list of what meals to cook when my parents come to visit me, and that means there is a grocery list soon to be made. These documents of what I need help me feel organized, and checking things off of them help me feel accomplished. Once a task is finished, a feeling of relief slips off my shoulders and helps me breathe for a few seconds before the world of stress comes back to hassle me.

The down side of this list habit is that I have a tendency to put things to do that don't deserve to be checked off. I am referring to things we should do or should want to do daily. Things that should come as second nature to us. For me, it's reading my bible and spending time in prayer conversing with my God and Savior. For as long as I can remember I have struggled with viewing these two very important things as just another thing to do before the day is over, and if I don't get to it, there's always tomorrow. What if that is how God viewed me? What if he just saw another thing to check off the list? What if he heard my cries and put it on a "to-do list" and viewed it as something that wasn't a priority and could wait until tomorrow? It would only be fair for him to view me as this because it's how I view him. He deserves so much more what I have to offer. I forget things and procrastinate and put other things before him. 

I have been working on how I view my devotions and prayer time. I want it to be something that I long to do every morning. I want to look forward to spending time with my Father and Friend. There are days when I have no problem sitting down and learning from him through his word, but there are other days that I just don't want to. I don't want to take the time out of my busy day to sit. I don't want to read the words that my Father has written to me because I know that they will touch my heart and sometimes that's hard to swallow. I need to make that decision to daily read his letters to me and talk with him about what I discover in them, not so that I can check it off my list of things to do, but because I want to change. His word is alive and capable of softening the hardest of hearts. His word is powerful and full of truth and insight. It's more than just a book of stories; it's a book full of life lessons, help, truth, comfort and encouragement. It teaches us how to better love others and live this life to the fullest. 

For the word of the God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

Hebrews 4:12