Carpe Diem...

Everyone has a past, is living in the present, and will have a future. The difference between these three things is that the past cannot be changed, the present is affected by the past, and the future can be planned out but will inevitably change. The past remains the past, the present morphs into the past, and the future becomes the present only to allow a new future a chance to shine. No matter how hard a person tries, the only thing certain about the future is how uncertain it truly is. Nothing in this life is set in stone. Things can change faster than the blink of an eye without warning and no amount of planning can prepare you for what that change may bring. 

Planning is a way to help ease the stress of the unknown for me. Don't get me wrong, I like a certain level of surprise, but typically I want to at least plan on having something take me by surprise and make me re-evaluate my current plan. 

My life is something that I don't enjoy gambling with. No one knows what the future may hold or how much of a future there really is. It all may come to an end within a few seconds of me finishing this sentence. (Obviously not since I am still typing, but you get the point). Life is short. I learned through a painful experience that our days are numbered here on earth, and there is no way of knowing when that last day will come. No one can ever truly plan for such a thing. This weekend marks a special day in my family's life. It's one of two days that remind us of just how special life is, and how important it is to live out life to the fullest. There will be tears of sadness shed and laughter shared throughout the family; all done in remembrance of a life that blessed us all. Lace, the vibrant, beautiful, fun-loving, kind hearted, and gentle spirited girl was born the seventeenth of April and the world was never the same. She, I'm sure, was unaware of just how many people she touched throughout the eighteen years she walked on this earth. Her smile and laughter were contagious, and there are so many other attributes of her that influenced the lives of people she encountered. Lace didn't know when her last day on earth would be, just like none of us do. I'm sure she had dreams of what her future would be and lists of things she wanted to accomplish. And though she was taken from this earth far too soon in our eyes, it was just the right time in His eyes. 

God was fully aware of the decisions, plans, and mistakes that she would make. He knew the number of days she would walk on this earth, and the things she would accomplish by simply existing. He knew that adventurous spirit would spark life into a friend or that her infectious smile would shed light onto a stranger's dark day. He knew that her family would truly miss her and wish she were here with us still. He knew that I would be sitting here tonight thinking about her life and how so many people were affected by her death. He knew that I would be at a loss for words sometimes while driving simply because I saw her name in my back window. He knew that it would hurt so much that the tears would be unstoppable, and he knew that anger would rise and fall. He knew that life and it's fairness would be questioned as well as his sovereignty. He knew that people would be drawn closer together because love and support would be what helped ease the pain. 

I do not know or understand why people are taken at such a young age. Losing a loved one never gets easier, no matter how young or old, sick or healthy, sweet or bitter. I don't know why one minute the pain seems non-existent and then the next feel unbearable. I cannot explain why things happen or why they influence us all differently. But, I do know that everything that takes place in this decaying and twisted world is not accomplished without his knowing. I do know that He is not out to get a single person, and I also know that when we feel as though God is trying to ruin us, it's really our selfishness that put us into that predicament. I do know that those who are willing to give up control on their life are more capable of attempting to understand the more complicated and painful things of life. I do know that once you choose to relinquish all control to him that things appear different. I do know that once you place your faith and trust in Him he will not allow anything to remove you from his protection. I do know that he is not a God who has taken a step back to enjoy the view of us all hurting and hating. I do know that he is still active in this present age and that people can feel his peace and presence in their life. And, I do know that all things are done and allowed to take place in order to bring him glory-to bring him praise. 

I do know that he loves each and every one of us on this earth and so desperately longs for each and every one of his creation to trust in him and love him with their whole heart. I do know that he placed Lace on this earth for those eighteen years for a specific reason and though we may not know that specific reason, we can know that his plans for her were accomplished. 

It's hard for me to look into the future and plan. I use to have it all planned out to a "T." I had thought of everything, but I now realize that all that planning is just a waste of time. I have no idea where I will be in 20 years, let alone 20 seconds. It is only by God's grace that I was born, and it is by that same grace that I am still living. Life is far more precious than we all realize, and it is not something that we should waste by placing focus on setting plans for a future that may very well change in the blink of an eye. Count every breath as a gift and view every second as an opportunity to make a difference.

Live in the moment. Love beyond words. Embrace every breath. Cherish every second. 

Not a day goes by that I don't think of you, Lace. Love and miss you...