A few posts back I wrote on change and how so many of us respond negatively to it. I also touched on how I think control (or lack there of) is one of the underlying factors in our avoidance of it. I also mentioned how fear and anticipation can feed into the dread and create more of an issue than what might have originally been there.
So now my question is this: What do you do when you know change is coming? It's inevitable and at one point in your life you're going to have to undergo some shifts in the norm. What do you do? How do you prepare?
Sure, it's easy to run the other direction, but I think it's better to face it head on. We all like having control, right? Well, running in the other direction or hiding in the closet as "D-Day" approaches isn't exactly helpful in making the transition easy. We can hide in the closet but it will be a rude awakening when that door flies open (trust me, I've attempted this approach). Or, we could run in the opposite direction as fast as we can, but we're only going to encounter a different kind of change and sooner or later we will end up right where we started (yep, speaking from experience there too). Another option is to stand firm in our ways, arms crossed, face stern, and eyes shut (refusing to acknowledge it's existence) but that will only keep us blinded to all that's becoming different around us leading to another rude awakening.
Or.... brace yourselves... we could face it head on and accept it.
*Gasps* She said what?!
Trust me, been there, had that response too. No one wants to face the next chapter in their lives, but I've met very few people who want to live life the way they've been living it for the past 10 years either. We all desire change, just on our own watch in our own way.
I know that change is coming for me. There are emotions that have surfaced that I link to change.
Stress
Fear
Anxiety
Uncertainty
Worry
Resistance
Anticipation
I can't run from these feelings just like I can't run from the change. As much as I like to think that I have my life perfectly planned out, I know deep in my heart that the likelihood of my plans unfolding without any issues is very slim. Sure, the plans I have might happen but the order might be off or only a few of them might be achieved.
I may not have control in everything, but I do have control in one thing and that's how I choose to respond. I can control whether I run, I hide, I accept, I ignore, or I trust. I have the ability to decide what my response is.
If you can't tell, I'm still working through all of this, but I figured I should write a little follow up to my other post. I don't like things that are not certain when it comes to how my life will end up. I like having plans and lists and knowing what to expect. I like thinking that I have relinquished all control, but deep down I know that I always leave a back up plan that leads me back to holding the reigns.
I don't have all the answers, heck, I don't really have any at all. But, I do have experience and mistakes and advice to offer and a willing ear to listen to what you might have to offer.
Life is a journey, but it's not one that we have to travel alone....
Hmmm, good stuff. Well, all I have to offer are the words of others because I too create plans for parts of my plans that might not go according to....you know. I even convince myself its not unbelief but wisdom because God might not fully understand my feelings on the issue and I need to help him along in the right direction sometimes. Which is why I will use others peoples words.
ReplyDeleteI once heard a pastor say that the worst thing someone could say to you is that you are not going to change over the next year at all. You will be dealing with the same things. All the things you go through will have no meaning because you willbe stuck where you are. He said it was a curse. So sometimes we long for change and are afraid it will never come. Other times we fear what we will have to give up as things change.
I once heard a pastor ask how do you deal when you lose someone you love? Declare this, God you are good, and you only and always do what's right. He died a year later from cancer. He trusted God and yielded his rights.
Which I think it is all about. Do we trust God. Funny how the sermon last night was on this. Are we willing to truly say your will be done? To lean on him?
Finally, I will end with God. Psalm 20:4 keeps me grounded in the fact that planning is not wrong but making my plan God is.
So that was more then I planed to say and I don't know if that even made sense. If you read it all, thanks for listening.
The only thing I remember from 9th grade Earth Science is the teacher saying "The only constant is change." And recently, I caught myself responding to the comment "you've changed!" with "The only people that don't change are the dead ones!" We change in response to a multitude of influences, environmental, spiritual, community, experience and on and on. I think as we grow in knowledge of the Lord, we realize that (for believers) the hand of God is in all as the Potter shapes us on His wheel and leads - or shoves! - us where he needs us to be to fulfill our part in His plan. The closer I get to Jesus, the less change scares me -- probably because I have had enough experience to know: 1) I am NOT in control of much of anything, except how I choose to respond to life, 2)as long as I am breathing, anything is possible, and that if I'm NOT breathing (physical body) I am HOME! - AND 3) Romans 8:28.
ReplyDeletePhil, thanks for your thoughts. I agree that sometimes not changing is just as scary as change.
ReplyDeleteAunt J, thanks for that quote. It's a good one to remember!