Grace and Me

"For by the grace of God I am what I am and his grace to me was not without effect." 1 Corinthians 15:10
I am not perfect. I am reminded daily of my flaws. Satan is so very faithful to point out my mistakes both past and present, and he is continuously there ready to jump at any opportunity to remind me that I will fail sooner or later at something. There are days that I allow myself to feed into those lies, but deep down, I know they are not true.
The mistakes that I have made, and have yet to make, are only a part of a plan bigger than I can fathom. It is only by God's grace that I am even here to partake in it. There is nothing worthy about me, or anyone else, but God loves us. He chose me to be his little girl. He chose me to hold his hand and walk with him. He chose me despite all the things he knew I would do, despite my stubborn tendencies, and despite my desire to have things under my control. He chose me because he knows what I am capable of doing (even though I often wonder just what that is). He chose me to take pride in, and he is the only one who will not fade away. His grace is not conditional. It is everlasting. He has not walked away from me, and he never will.
There is nothing I can do to make him let me go, and that thought is so relieving. But, at the same time, it does not give me the right to do whatever I wish. The last part of that verse says that his grace to me was not without effect, and it's true. Simply knowing how much he willingly went through to have me is so very humbling. There is not a single thing on this earth that I can do to make it up to him. I am forever thankful for his decision to choose me.
As I sit here writing after a busy day at the mini zoo/science center and crazy family lunch, I can feel my headache pounding, and all I honestly want right now is chocolate... actually raisinets. I would like a few minutes to myself to sit and write and just stare at my very long to do list. And, as I sit here pondering what to write next, I am also listening to the sad little cries echoing from the baby monitor. Part of me is counting down the hours until I get to go home and be kid free for a few hours before returning tomorrow.
It's the teeth. Those wretched little things that we all use daily are now painfully popping their way through the gums of poor little Mr. Man.  He was up at 5, slept 45 minutes in the morning, and is now ready to go after only an hour and a half nap. Little does he know, I'm not ready for his little hands and feet to be crawling around just yet. In my mind, I think I deserve more time to just write and stare and figure out how to get rid of this headache, but in his mind it's time to get up cuddle and then skillfully destroy the house while flashing his cute little smile.
In my selfishness, I keep telling myself just a few more minutes, but Mr. Man wouldn't be in my life if it weren't for God's provision. So, it's my turn to show grace to this little monster whom I love so dearly.