Oh Ye of Little Faith...

That's me. I like to sit here and think that I have faith capable of moving a mountain, but when put to the test, I fail, miserably. It's easy to say that you have faith in God, but when that faith is truly needed to get through something, it can seem like there is no faith at all. That's where I find myself more often than not as I am faced with the idea of raising money for Kenya.
Kenya... just thinking about that country and the people there that need to hear about the love of Christ and the women and children who need ministering to, my heart breaks and tears begin to well up. I am getting more and more excited about going and ministering to these people whom God loves. I want to watch the eyes of the children light up when they realize that someone who they haven't met loves them more than anything in this whole world. I can't wait to serve alongside other fellow believers building homes or churches or orphanages. It's easy to get caught up in all the hype and forget what is needed to get there...money.
It shouldn't be a big issue, right? Well, that's what I would like to believe. But, instead of pure excitement and anticipation of ministering to these people, my joyful feelings are followed by worry and doubt. I have a hard time truly believing that God will provide the money needed to go on this trip. I have a hard time trusting that he won't let me down. I have a hard time seriously picturing myself on a plane going to Kenya because I cannot fathom where this money is going to come from.
At the same time, I have a hard time imagining putting God in a box and making all that he is small. I have a hard time imagining the God that was creative enough to design each and every being on this earth, let alone the animals, is unable to provide a few measly dollars (to him). And yet, that is exactly what I am doing when I don't put my faith and trust in him the way that I should. I am shoving him into this little square box and am limiting him on what he is capable of doing. I am putting boundaries on God, which seems quite absurd to me! I do this without even realizing it. I say that God is capable of doing amazing things, but when it comes down to actually living that out, I would rather try to put boundaries on God. I'm pretty sure that my "cop-out" answer is the harder route to take.
I need to stop doubting the God that freed the Israelites, parted the Red Sea, caused the sun to stand still, delivered the Israelites into the Promised Land, turned water into wine, healed the sick, walked on water, allowed Peter to walk on water, raised Lazarus from the dead, endured the excruciating death on the cross, and rose from the grave. I need break free from the doubt that I have and truly rely on God and believe that he is the God who can do the impossible.