Fighting the Current

Sometimes it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. At times it seems like there is no light at all. At the end of the day you feel drained after fighting against the current of the world. You question why fight? Why fight against the waves? Moments can so easily overtake you and all you feel like you can do is give into the strength of them and allow them to drift you out to sea. There are times when fighting seems useless. The strength you exert is tiresome and there are days when you would much rather allow yourself to be taken under than stay afloat.
In those moments when all you feel you can do is give up, it's hard to remember that there can be a light at the end of the tunnel, but only if you choose to open your eyes to see it. I write this from a personal viewpoint. I've been there. I've been in the deep shadows and dark pits that seem endless and without hope. I've been in the middle of the tide pulling you out and turning you on end making it hard to know which way is up. I've experienced giving up, and I've also fought harder than ever to get out.

My advice? Keep fighting. Don't give up, because if you do, sooner or later you are going to wish you hadn't, and it's much much harder to swim back to shore when you're headed caught in a riptide headed out for sea. But, who am I to tell you how to go about your journey? I am simply one traveling along the path that might run parallel with yours for a time, but while yours might go left, mine may shoot up a hill or down a steep cliff. The point is that though we are all on different journeys, we share something in common- we know what it's like to struggle, to want to give up. We also know what it's like to feel that inspiration and strength to move on.
I often wonder what makes us question the reasons as to why things happen to us. I think we all know that we aren't the only person to have experienced whatever it is each of us might be going through. Maybe it's because we just want to know what exactly the outcome is suppose to be? Or, maybe it's because we want to know what we did wrong so that we can avoid all this the next time around. It's hard to accept the tough times in life along with the good, but in my experience (though there really isn't much) the true good times always come after pain- the best sunsets tend to come after a horrible storm. I don't think the key to figuring things out is us knowing the reason behind the dark times. I think it's figuring out what to do with the knowledge you gained after you reach the light at the end.
I don't even know why I felt the need to write this, but for some reason it's been tumbling around in my mind for a few days and just needed to get it out. I guess you could say I'm feeling that strong pull of the current, and there have been moments where I have wanted to just let my knees buckle. The only thing that's keeping me standing is the knowledge that there is a light at the end. There is a time when the current will die down, and peace will slowly drift in. I look forward to that peaceful time when the waves are majestic and rhythmic. Though the peaceful noise of the waves crashing against the shore are only for a short time, I have come to rely on them for clarity and strength. Remembering the better times will follow gives me enough hope to keep moving forward.

In the midst of my ramblings, I hope that something made sense, it was more a "soothe my soul" kind of a post than anything else.

Freedom

Have you ever thought about freedom? Ok....maybe that was a silly question.
But, honestly though. Have you given it much thought? We all have it thanks to the sacrifice of all the men and women who fought for our country and willingly take the stand to protect us now. It's something that many of us born as US citizens might not think about unless learning about it in school.
Freedom...
What does it mean to you? Does it mean anything to you?
Not only am I free in this country, but I am free in Christ. I am forgiven. No longer am I bound to the things of this world, I am above it. Does that mean I am perfect? No, by no means am I anywhere near it, and I never will be. But, seventeen years ago I chose to believe and trust in a God much bigger than me. I chose to believe and place my faith in a God who is capable of loving each and every person equally, and that love is more than any of us will ever be able to fathom. Not only is he a big God, but he's a God of detail. He's merciful, just, and gracious.
It is so comforting to know that he created me with each of my quirks. My laugh and cry were both created by him for me. He carefully chose what color eyes and hair I would have. He knew what skin color I would have, and he knew what height would work well for me. He chose the body type as well as the shoe size and the placement of my freckles. He designed me to be me. There were no mistakes made, no goofs that were missed. He went over my attributes with a fine tooth comb until he was satisfied. The amazing thing is that he did that (and does that) with each and every one of us humans. Not a single one of us was a mistake. Not a single one of us are unknown by God.
Not only did he take pride in creating me, but he takes pride in helping me discover the beautifully hand-written, skillfully crafted story that is my life. He knows the moments that will make me laugh just like he knows the moments I will sob over things that are heavy on my heart. He specifically made me to have a desire to love people of all types. He chose to take me through certain dark valleys so that I could witness how marvelously breath taking the view at the top was. He knows that things in my life will be difficult, but he also knows how he will use that to bring himself glory.
Some people might think of that as selfish, but I think it's only due to him. He sacrificed so much to give us the gift of love. He chose to give us the freedom of choice. He gave us the choice to love him or turn our back on him. He gave us the choice to reside in his arms and trust that he will be our provider or to spit in his face and reject his love. So why shouldn't he get the praise and glory? Maybe if one us could make something so beautiful and complex as the human body then we could say that he doesn't deserve all the praise, but I'm pretty sure there is not a single person on this earth meticulous and imaginative enough to do that. So... he deserves it all.
With freedom comes responsibility. We must be mindful of what we do with that freedom. We are free in this country, but there are guidelines and boundaries one must follow to avoid punishment. It's the same thing with freedom in God. We have a responsibility to be living testimonies of his incredible love. Yes, we have freedom from the binding ways of this world, but that does not give us the right to do things that we, our sinful selves, want to do. We must choose to do things that will bring his name praise and recognition. There are so many things in this world that are more appealing to us than choosing to live for him which goes against the grain of all society. We will all be held accountable in the end for all that we said and did.
Freedom comes with a price. God paid that ultimate price for us by sending his Son to die a gruesome death on the cross, but there is a price we must pay. In the end, it is a very small one compared to his, but in the present moment of our lives it seems huge. Our pride must be laid down, and we must be willing to go where he asks. We must be willing to say no to the things of this world that seem appealing. It is one thing to say no to something we know we mustn't have and the rest of the world typically looks down upon, but it's another thing to say no to something we know we mustn't have and the rest of the world makes sound so appealing. Love, happiness, peace, wealth, they're all things that aren't inherently wrong, but when we chase after them to please our self, we neglect to remember to pursue just what God wants us to have. Is there anything wrong with love? No, but there is something wrong with it if it makes you neglect developing your relationship with God. Is happiness wrong? No, God is not a God who withholds things from us to make us miserable. He enjoys giving us the desires of our heart, provided they match up to what he asks of us.
There are some who feel as though they are free even though they chose to neglect God's gift of salvation. To them, they are free because they do not have to follow rules and regulations that are written in the Bible. But, they are blinded to the fact that they are slaves to their fleshly desires.
I think that freedom is something that should be on the forefront of our minds. Thinking about freedom is rather eye opening. There are so many things we are capable of once we choose to take part of the freedom God offers us.

Safe and Secure

Slow breathing. Relaxed body. Warm blanket.
That's how I spent my afternoon yesterday. The business that normally consumes my time during the kids' nap was set on hold to rock a sick child.

Glazed eyes. Slow movements. Sad whimpers.
That's how I knew he needed and desperately wanted more sleep. I chose to set aside my to-do list for this afternoon to rock this sweet little guy. I sat and rocked him for an hour and just listened to his congested breathing calm down and become smooth. I watched his eyes flutter open and closed with every twitch or noise. I felt his body grow heavier and heavier as the minutes progressed. I felt his hand carefully reach up and grab onto my shirt to ensure I wasn't going anywhere. Slowly, ever so slowly, comfort flooded his body, and after an hour of fighting it, he gave into the much needed sleep.
As I sat there rocking him, I couldn't help but smile because I felt my body relax. I could feel myself slowly allowing myself to forget about my to do list and just be in the moment of comforting this little guy. It made me think of how we all seek comfort. We all desire to feel that sense of peace come over us. We seek this out in so many different places-wealth, job security, love, kids, friends, and being involved in so many different things. But, all those things can so easily loosen their grip on us and allow us to fall from that place of security. There is a sense of uneasiness when we surround ourselves with these things. Unfortunately, it is easy to mistake that uneasy feeling as needing more. We neglect to recognize that those things cannot fill us.
So often I find myself wanting more. I find myself in states of unrest. I fidget and fuss and try to find something else to hold onto. The crazy thing is, when I find myself agitated and unsettled it's when I let go of God's hand and try to run along the path by myself. The path that I am on is not an easy one (none of our's is). I am on a journey full of twists and turns, ups and downs, fog and storms. The view is not clear to the end, and at times, there are moments when I cannot even see a few feet in front of me. Moments arise when the unknown is more overwhelming than the known, and I begin to feel as though I must reach out to find something else to latch onto. The problem arises because there is nothing out there that will give me the security and guidance I need besides God. He is the only one who can see past the storms that arise. He can see past the steep mountains I must climb, and he knows what is waiting for me around the corner. 

He never lets go. He never closes his eyes. He never rests. He is always there with open arms, ready to rock us until we are able to relax and feel his warmth, his love, and his protection. 

Play to Grow

"Pattapiwar. Eeen moon egg on weef. Up one day sun. Ee very hungy. Wate one apple ee til hungy. Wate 2 pars, ee til hungy. Wate bawberry ee til hungy. Wate wonges til hungy. Pattapiwar ate one chocwate, one cheese, one wowipop, an one wa-ermeyon. Eee no hungy. Wate one weef. Pattapiwar big. *Gasps* buyerfly!

Yay!!!"

If you couldn't tell, that's The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle read by a two year old. I got to start my morning with that. This morning started at 6 for me, and she was wide awake when I got to the house at 7. So, we snuggled and read just like we do before nap time. She loves her books, and I hope that her desire to read all the time will continue to grow as she gets older.
I struggle with the children of this generation because most of them would rather sit inside on their electronics than read or go outside and play.The ability to imagine a whole different world to play in and explore is non-existent to many of these kids. It's not that I completely frown upon kids using electronics, but when it takes away from their ability to pick up a "lifeless" toy and make-believe, I think that there is an issue.
I think it is very important, developmentally, for a child to learn to play on their own in a room of toys that require imagination. Again, I don't see anything wrong with toys that make noise or turning on the television from time to time, but when it occurs every day I believe it can be detrimental. The television is on for a total of 1 hour the whole day that I am here. I will have music on in the background but that's it. For the majority of the day the kids are fully submerged in their toys and the little worlds they create.
There have been studies done that show kids who were taught to pretend have an advanced intellectual development. Not sure how that happens? Well, if you think about it. Kids tend to learn more by hands on application. They don't sit down and learn about the world around them, they explore it and learn from day to day activities. Studies have also shown that it can help a child's ability to empathize. They are able to imagine how one might feel in a situation. There are so many benefits from imaginative play and reading. These are only a few that I can think of off the top of my head. I learned about play therapy while in a college class, and I wish that more people would take the principles of the idea and make them their own.
The point is, I think it's wonderful for a child to develop an interest in books, and I think it's our responsibility as caregivers and parents to help that interest grow and develop. Along with that, I also think it is our responsibility to help introduce imaginative play. Choose to put down the remote, the paper, the computer, even your book, and take the time to play with your kids. I know it can be hard at times, especially after a hard day at work, but it can be so rewarding for you and your child (and you may even be surprised at how much fun you have!).

Thank Goodness for Play Dates

I am sure that quite a few of you out there know what I mean. Play dates can really brighten up a very dark and difficult week. I am a nanny, so my play dates actually involve me sticking with the kids; but even still, it's nice to have a break. Yesterday, I had the opportunity to visit with another nanny whom I have come to enjoy spending time with.
It's so nice to just talk about our jobs and be able to relate. I have friends that I talk to, but I can't talk to them about my job the way I can talk to a fellow nanny. It's refreshing to know that everyone with a two year old experiences the same thing, and that I am not the only one with a strong willed little man. I enjoy sharing stories and just sitting back and talking while in the middle of children running around making a once clean room very, VERY disorganized. I don't even mind the mid sentence pauses that occur to take care of a child in hysterics or to hunt down the source of running water because we both understand!
I've come to truly think that nannies are of a different breed. We aren't mothers watching our own kids or someone having kids come into our own home. We take care of other people's precious gems, in their home, and take on the responsibility of helping to raise and nurture that prized "possession." We do more than just wipe faces...and other places... When a nanny comes into a home, it's to allow that family the piece of mind that their child is at home in a comfortable environment with more directed attention than say at a day care or preschool (though there's nothing wrong with either of those places).
 There is a sense of personalism (yep, I made it up), and I think that's what makes nannies so special. They give a portion of themselves each day to this youngster(s) that isn't even their own, and yet there is a connection created-a bond.
I don't know where I would be if I didn't have someone to talk to about my job who understands fully what I am going through. I am lucky to have two special nannies in my life, and I am so thankful for their insights and amusing stories.

Potty Training Tidbits

Potty Training... Does that send shivers up your spine (either ones of excitement or dread). It does mine. I love the idea of potty training a child because that means one less diaper to change and one less expense to purchase. But, I am not exactly thrilled about the process. I think that every child has a window that will open when they are ready to venture forth into the land of "big boys or girls." I also think that if you aren't active when that window opens, you may miss your chance at an "easy" process- if that word can even go with potty training.
I am currently working with Miss Magee. She has expressed interest in being a big girl and has reached the point to know when she has to go. We decided to reward her with M&Ms when she goes on the potty and still has a dry diaper. Well, after her going multiple times in one day and bouncing off the walls, I decided to start a sticker book. So, every time she goes she will either get an M&M or a sticker, but she never knows which one is coming.
So far, she has done really well for a child at 28 months. I am so happy that she has expressed interest in the summer as opposed to the winter simply because you can keep her in dresses which makes the process a tad bit "easier" (I still don't think easy really fits in this context, but for the sake of writing, it will have to do). I've helped potty train boys before, and I find them to be less hard simply because you can make it a little more fun (and they can go outside which makes it even more helpful...well, until they try exposing themselves in your neighbor's front lawn and then it gets complicated).
I've thought about letting her run around diaper-less. Any takes? Obviously, I am not a mom. I am simply a nanny with experience, but I am always open to new ideas or tricks that have worked along the way with others.
So, my question to you, my readers is this, Any tips on potty training a girl?
Shall I attempt to go diaper-less while at home or is it more of a hassle than a help?

Day of Celebrating

There are moments of success in everyone's life. Those close to the people celebrating these successes join in the excitement. For me, at this stage of my life, I am celebrating with a couple of cute little people.
Let me just say, it is so very exciting when a little one goes potty on the Big Girl Potty for the first time (after the first time). You might be confused by that statement...but, consistency is the thing to celebrate here! Today, Miss Magee went on the potty twice...in the same day! Hallelujah! Now, I know that this isn't exactly the end all to diapers, but the fact that she actually went and knew that she went is a major break through in the potty training world. She was so excited that she went that she almost forgot about the "Eh-n-Ehs" (M&Ms)...key word being almost.
Not only did I get to celebrate in her potty experience(s), I was able to celebrate with Little Man when he waved good bye to Gramma...twice!! Again, I say Hallelujah!
From yesterday when my sanity was practically lost in a pile of toys to today full of celebrating, I can definitely say my life is by no means the same every day!