Tidbits of His Great Love

I have always viewed God as an authority figure in my life, and occasionally I have considered him a "father figure." I put that in quotes because I don't really think of him as my father. I picture him more as an older man who can give good advice and loves me.
I have just recently begun to view God as something so much more than the two that I have listed above. I have become to understand just how intimately involved in my life he truly is. I grew up in a Christian home, went to church regularly, and attended a private Christian school from kindergarten right up through twelfth grade. Growing up, I knew a lot about who God was and accepted him as my Lord and Savior, but I also knew that I was required to read the Bible and memorize his word for a grade in school and to get things in Sunday School. It didn't take long for me to view God and his word as just another thing to check off my list and help my GPA. Often I felt that there was something more to it than just that, but I didn't act upon that desirous feeling as often as I should have.
God has become so much more than just a thing to do or believe. He has become the person I want to turn to in all situations. There are moments that I don't and that is because I am not perfect and am still fighting my fleshly desires. I mentioned in a previous post that I went on a retreat this past weekend. I didn't come back with newly found knowledge, but rather the knowledge I had was pushed to a deeper level. I was reminded that God is so much more than just "the big guy in the sky." He is my Father, Lover, and Friend.
As my Father, he has the final say, and what he says he will do will be done. He is sovereign. The things that I endure throughout my life are not meant to hurt me, though I often interpret it that way; they are meant for good. He knows exactly how those things will unfold to help me become a much better version of myself-more like him. I was reminded that he knows the exact amount of hair on my head because he is detailed and desires to know me on such a deep level.
One of the "big" things that I took away from this weekend is that his will is not at the mercy of sinful man. What he plans to do will be done. He reigns above my choices, and thankfully, my choices do not cripple or foil his plan.
He is also my Lover. He doesn't just love me; he is intimately acquainted with all my ways and isn't scared away by them. Psalm 139 talks about how we were made to know and be known by God, meaning we will need to take the time to get to know him and reflect on what we find. He longs to bless me and enjoys doing so. I use to think that Psalm 37:4 (Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart) meant that when I was "content" in God that he would give me what I desired. But, so often I was trying to be content in God so that I could still have my fleshly desires. I have come to understand that when I am truly delighted in him that his desires become mine. I am no longer focused on the earthly desires that I once had. I want what he wants for me. He also desires to protect and is willing to fight for me.
Not only is he my Father and Lover, he is also my friend. Over the years, the term friend has come to represent a person who simply comes and goes and doesn't remain constant in my life. I realized that I have a hard time picturing a friend who actually remains my friend through the good and the bad all my life and doesn't drift away. As a friend, he wants to commune with me and walk with me now and forever. He has no intentions of leaving. In fact, he says that he will never leave me or forsake me. Friendship requires two people choosing to get to know one another. He chose me for himself. There is nothing superior about me that made him choose me; he simply wanted to.  As a friend he is there to comfort me and hold my hand. We are told in 1 John 4:18 that perfect love casts out fear. He is perfect and he loves me. There is no room for me to fear. My fear ultimately reveals my lack of trust in him. I become victorious over fear when I lay down that fear at his feet and allow his truth to wash over it.
So often I try to stuff God into a box. By doing so, I am stating that I don't think he needs to be with me throughout my daily life. How wrong am I? He is not some magic genie that I can pull out when I am in trouble or need him to do something for me. God is not someone who I can define by my circumstances. Instead, I need to define my circumstance by him. I need to allow myself to be still long enough to feel his presence, and I need to shut my mouth long enough to hear his whispers of love and encouragement to me. I am so glad that he has the patience to deal with me. The amount of sincere love he has for me is more than I can ask for. I am undeserving of it all, but that is the beauty of it all. He doesn't just love me as his child, he also adores me as his lover, and cherishes me as his friend. The least I can do is trust in his love and love him back.