Fighting the Current

Sometimes it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. At times it seems like there is no light at all. At the end of the day you feel drained after fighting against the current of the world. You question why fight? Why fight against the waves? Moments can so easily overtake you and all you feel like you can do is give into the strength of them and allow them to drift you out to sea. There are times when fighting seems useless. The strength you exert is tiresome and there are days when you would much rather allow yourself to be taken under than stay afloat.
In those moments when all you feel you can do is give up, it's hard to remember that there can be a light at the end of the tunnel, but only if you choose to open your eyes to see it. I write this from a personal viewpoint. I've been there. I've been in the deep shadows and dark pits that seem endless and without hope. I've been in the middle of the tide pulling you out and turning you on end making it hard to know which way is up. I've experienced giving up, and I've also fought harder than ever to get out.

My advice? Keep fighting. Don't give up, because if you do, sooner or later you are going to wish you hadn't, and it's much much harder to swim back to shore when you're headed caught in a riptide headed out for sea. But, who am I to tell you how to go about your journey? I am simply one traveling along the path that might run parallel with yours for a time, but while yours might go left, mine may shoot up a hill or down a steep cliff. The point is that though we are all on different journeys, we share something in common- we know what it's like to struggle, to want to give up. We also know what it's like to feel that inspiration and strength to move on.
I often wonder what makes us question the reasons as to why things happen to us. I think we all know that we aren't the only person to have experienced whatever it is each of us might be going through. Maybe it's because we just want to know what exactly the outcome is suppose to be? Or, maybe it's because we want to know what we did wrong so that we can avoid all this the next time around. It's hard to accept the tough times in life along with the good, but in my experience (though there really isn't much) the true good times always come after pain- the best sunsets tend to come after a horrible storm. I don't think the key to figuring things out is us knowing the reason behind the dark times. I think it's figuring out what to do with the knowledge you gained after you reach the light at the end.
I don't even know why I felt the need to write this, but for some reason it's been tumbling around in my mind for a few days and just needed to get it out. I guess you could say I'm feeling that strong pull of the current, and there have been moments where I have wanted to just let my knees buckle. The only thing that's keeping me standing is the knowledge that there is a light at the end. There is a time when the current will die down, and peace will slowly drift in. I look forward to that peaceful time when the waves are majestic and rhythmic. Though the peaceful noise of the waves crashing against the shore are only for a short time, I have come to rely on them for clarity and strength. Remembering the better times will follow gives me enough hope to keep moving forward.

In the midst of my ramblings, I hope that something made sense, it was more a "soothe my soul" kind of a post than anything else.

Freedom

Have you ever thought about freedom? Ok....maybe that was a silly question.
But, honestly though. Have you given it much thought? We all have it thanks to the sacrifice of all the men and women who fought for our country and willingly take the stand to protect us now. It's something that many of us born as US citizens might not think about unless learning about it in school.
Freedom...
What does it mean to you? Does it mean anything to you?
Not only am I free in this country, but I am free in Christ. I am forgiven. No longer am I bound to the things of this world, I am above it. Does that mean I am perfect? No, by no means am I anywhere near it, and I never will be. But, seventeen years ago I chose to believe and trust in a God much bigger than me. I chose to believe and place my faith in a God who is capable of loving each and every person equally, and that love is more than any of us will ever be able to fathom. Not only is he a big God, but he's a God of detail. He's merciful, just, and gracious.
It is so comforting to know that he created me with each of my quirks. My laugh and cry were both created by him for me. He carefully chose what color eyes and hair I would have. He knew what skin color I would have, and he knew what height would work well for me. He chose the body type as well as the shoe size and the placement of my freckles. He designed me to be me. There were no mistakes made, no goofs that were missed. He went over my attributes with a fine tooth comb until he was satisfied. The amazing thing is that he did that (and does that) with each and every one of us humans. Not a single one of us was a mistake. Not a single one of us are unknown by God.
Not only did he take pride in creating me, but he takes pride in helping me discover the beautifully hand-written, skillfully crafted story that is my life. He knows the moments that will make me laugh just like he knows the moments I will sob over things that are heavy on my heart. He specifically made me to have a desire to love people of all types. He chose to take me through certain dark valleys so that I could witness how marvelously breath taking the view at the top was. He knows that things in my life will be difficult, but he also knows how he will use that to bring himself glory.
Some people might think of that as selfish, but I think it's only due to him. He sacrificed so much to give us the gift of love. He chose to give us the freedom of choice. He gave us the choice to love him or turn our back on him. He gave us the choice to reside in his arms and trust that he will be our provider or to spit in his face and reject his love. So why shouldn't he get the praise and glory? Maybe if one us could make something so beautiful and complex as the human body then we could say that he doesn't deserve all the praise, but I'm pretty sure there is not a single person on this earth meticulous and imaginative enough to do that. So... he deserves it all.
With freedom comes responsibility. We must be mindful of what we do with that freedom. We are free in this country, but there are guidelines and boundaries one must follow to avoid punishment. It's the same thing with freedom in God. We have a responsibility to be living testimonies of his incredible love. Yes, we have freedom from the binding ways of this world, but that does not give us the right to do things that we, our sinful selves, want to do. We must choose to do things that will bring his name praise and recognition. There are so many things in this world that are more appealing to us than choosing to live for him which goes against the grain of all society. We will all be held accountable in the end for all that we said and did.
Freedom comes with a price. God paid that ultimate price for us by sending his Son to die a gruesome death on the cross, but there is a price we must pay. In the end, it is a very small one compared to his, but in the present moment of our lives it seems huge. Our pride must be laid down, and we must be willing to go where he asks. We must be willing to say no to the things of this world that seem appealing. It is one thing to say no to something we know we mustn't have and the rest of the world typically looks down upon, but it's another thing to say no to something we know we mustn't have and the rest of the world makes sound so appealing. Love, happiness, peace, wealth, they're all things that aren't inherently wrong, but when we chase after them to please our self, we neglect to remember to pursue just what God wants us to have. Is there anything wrong with love? No, but there is something wrong with it if it makes you neglect developing your relationship with God. Is happiness wrong? No, God is not a God who withholds things from us to make us miserable. He enjoys giving us the desires of our heart, provided they match up to what he asks of us.
There are some who feel as though they are free even though they chose to neglect God's gift of salvation. To them, they are free because they do not have to follow rules and regulations that are written in the Bible. But, they are blinded to the fact that they are slaves to their fleshly desires.
I think that freedom is something that should be on the forefront of our minds. Thinking about freedom is rather eye opening. There are so many things we are capable of once we choose to take part of the freedom God offers us.

Safe and Secure

Slow breathing. Relaxed body. Warm blanket.
That's how I spent my afternoon yesterday. The business that normally consumes my time during the kids' nap was set on hold to rock a sick child.

Glazed eyes. Slow movements. Sad whimpers.
That's how I knew he needed and desperately wanted more sleep. I chose to set aside my to-do list for this afternoon to rock this sweet little guy. I sat and rocked him for an hour and just listened to his congested breathing calm down and become smooth. I watched his eyes flutter open and closed with every twitch or noise. I felt his body grow heavier and heavier as the minutes progressed. I felt his hand carefully reach up and grab onto my shirt to ensure I wasn't going anywhere. Slowly, ever so slowly, comfort flooded his body, and after an hour of fighting it, he gave into the much needed sleep.
As I sat there rocking him, I couldn't help but smile because I felt my body relax. I could feel myself slowly allowing myself to forget about my to do list and just be in the moment of comforting this little guy. It made me think of how we all seek comfort. We all desire to feel that sense of peace come over us. We seek this out in so many different places-wealth, job security, love, kids, friends, and being involved in so many different things. But, all those things can so easily loosen their grip on us and allow us to fall from that place of security. There is a sense of uneasiness when we surround ourselves with these things. Unfortunately, it is easy to mistake that uneasy feeling as needing more. We neglect to recognize that those things cannot fill us.
So often I find myself wanting more. I find myself in states of unrest. I fidget and fuss and try to find something else to hold onto. The crazy thing is, when I find myself agitated and unsettled it's when I let go of God's hand and try to run along the path by myself. The path that I am on is not an easy one (none of our's is). I am on a journey full of twists and turns, ups and downs, fog and storms. The view is not clear to the end, and at times, there are moments when I cannot even see a few feet in front of me. Moments arise when the unknown is more overwhelming than the known, and I begin to feel as though I must reach out to find something else to latch onto. The problem arises because there is nothing out there that will give me the security and guidance I need besides God. He is the only one who can see past the storms that arise. He can see past the steep mountains I must climb, and he knows what is waiting for me around the corner. 

He never lets go. He never closes his eyes. He never rests. He is always there with open arms, ready to rock us until we are able to relax and feel his warmth, his love, and his protection. 

Play to Grow

"Pattapiwar. Eeen moon egg on weef. Up one day sun. Ee very hungy. Wate one apple ee til hungy. Wate 2 pars, ee til hungy. Wate bawberry ee til hungy. Wate wonges til hungy. Pattapiwar ate one chocwate, one cheese, one wowipop, an one wa-ermeyon. Eee no hungy. Wate one weef. Pattapiwar big. *Gasps* buyerfly!

Yay!!!"

If you couldn't tell, that's The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle read by a two year old. I got to start my morning with that. This morning started at 6 for me, and she was wide awake when I got to the house at 7. So, we snuggled and read just like we do before nap time. She loves her books, and I hope that her desire to read all the time will continue to grow as she gets older.
I struggle with the children of this generation because most of them would rather sit inside on their electronics than read or go outside and play.The ability to imagine a whole different world to play in and explore is non-existent to many of these kids. It's not that I completely frown upon kids using electronics, but when it takes away from their ability to pick up a "lifeless" toy and make-believe, I think that there is an issue.
I think it is very important, developmentally, for a child to learn to play on their own in a room of toys that require imagination. Again, I don't see anything wrong with toys that make noise or turning on the television from time to time, but when it occurs every day I believe it can be detrimental. The television is on for a total of 1 hour the whole day that I am here. I will have music on in the background but that's it. For the majority of the day the kids are fully submerged in their toys and the little worlds they create.
There have been studies done that show kids who were taught to pretend have an advanced intellectual development. Not sure how that happens? Well, if you think about it. Kids tend to learn more by hands on application. They don't sit down and learn about the world around them, they explore it and learn from day to day activities. Studies have also shown that it can help a child's ability to empathize. They are able to imagine how one might feel in a situation. There are so many benefits from imaginative play and reading. These are only a few that I can think of off the top of my head. I learned about play therapy while in a college class, and I wish that more people would take the principles of the idea and make them their own.
The point is, I think it's wonderful for a child to develop an interest in books, and I think it's our responsibility as caregivers and parents to help that interest grow and develop. Along with that, I also think it is our responsibility to help introduce imaginative play. Choose to put down the remote, the paper, the computer, even your book, and take the time to play with your kids. I know it can be hard at times, especially after a hard day at work, but it can be so rewarding for you and your child (and you may even be surprised at how much fun you have!).

Thank Goodness for Play Dates

I am sure that quite a few of you out there know what I mean. Play dates can really brighten up a very dark and difficult week. I am a nanny, so my play dates actually involve me sticking with the kids; but even still, it's nice to have a break. Yesterday, I had the opportunity to visit with another nanny whom I have come to enjoy spending time with.
It's so nice to just talk about our jobs and be able to relate. I have friends that I talk to, but I can't talk to them about my job the way I can talk to a fellow nanny. It's refreshing to know that everyone with a two year old experiences the same thing, and that I am not the only one with a strong willed little man. I enjoy sharing stories and just sitting back and talking while in the middle of children running around making a once clean room very, VERY disorganized. I don't even mind the mid sentence pauses that occur to take care of a child in hysterics or to hunt down the source of running water because we both understand!
I've come to truly think that nannies are of a different breed. We aren't mothers watching our own kids or someone having kids come into our own home. We take care of other people's precious gems, in their home, and take on the responsibility of helping to raise and nurture that prized "possession." We do more than just wipe faces...and other places... When a nanny comes into a home, it's to allow that family the piece of mind that their child is at home in a comfortable environment with more directed attention than say at a day care or preschool (though there's nothing wrong with either of those places).
 There is a sense of personalism (yep, I made it up), and I think that's what makes nannies so special. They give a portion of themselves each day to this youngster(s) that isn't even their own, and yet there is a connection created-a bond.
I don't know where I would be if I didn't have someone to talk to about my job who understands fully what I am going through. I am lucky to have two special nannies in my life, and I am so thankful for their insights and amusing stories.

Potty Training Tidbits

Potty Training... Does that send shivers up your spine (either ones of excitement or dread). It does mine. I love the idea of potty training a child because that means one less diaper to change and one less expense to purchase. But, I am not exactly thrilled about the process. I think that every child has a window that will open when they are ready to venture forth into the land of "big boys or girls." I also think that if you aren't active when that window opens, you may miss your chance at an "easy" process- if that word can even go with potty training.
I am currently working with Miss Magee. She has expressed interest in being a big girl and has reached the point to know when she has to go. We decided to reward her with M&Ms when she goes on the potty and still has a dry diaper. Well, after her going multiple times in one day and bouncing off the walls, I decided to start a sticker book. So, every time she goes she will either get an M&M or a sticker, but she never knows which one is coming.
So far, she has done really well for a child at 28 months. I am so happy that she has expressed interest in the summer as opposed to the winter simply because you can keep her in dresses which makes the process a tad bit "easier" (I still don't think easy really fits in this context, but for the sake of writing, it will have to do). I've helped potty train boys before, and I find them to be less hard simply because you can make it a little more fun (and they can go outside which makes it even more helpful...well, until they try exposing themselves in your neighbor's front lawn and then it gets complicated).
I've thought about letting her run around diaper-less. Any takes? Obviously, I am not a mom. I am simply a nanny with experience, but I am always open to new ideas or tricks that have worked along the way with others.
So, my question to you, my readers is this, Any tips on potty training a girl?
Shall I attempt to go diaper-less while at home or is it more of a hassle than a help?

Day of Celebrating

There are moments of success in everyone's life. Those close to the people celebrating these successes join in the excitement. For me, at this stage of my life, I am celebrating with a couple of cute little people.
Let me just say, it is so very exciting when a little one goes potty on the Big Girl Potty for the first time (after the first time). You might be confused by that statement...but, consistency is the thing to celebrate here! Today, Miss Magee went on the potty twice...in the same day! Hallelujah! Now, I know that this isn't exactly the end all to diapers, but the fact that she actually went and knew that she went is a major break through in the potty training world. She was so excited that she went that she almost forgot about the "Eh-n-Ehs" (M&Ms)...key word being almost.
Not only did I get to celebrate in her potty experience(s), I was able to celebrate with Little Man when he waved good bye to Gramma...twice!! Again, I say Hallelujah!
From yesterday when my sanity was practically lost in a pile of toys to today full of celebrating, I can definitely say my life is by no means the same every day!

In a matter of seconds, a beautifully clean, well organized, vacuumed room can go from looking like this....

to...

looking like this!

At times, I think to myself, "Why bother?" and then I remember it's for my sanity. The tiny little frail pieces of sanity that I am clinging to for dear life are thriving off of making sure the house is cleaned for at least 2 seconds!

Sometimes I think I'm a nanny to little Tasmanian devils and not "sweet" little children.Their abilities to destroy a room in under 5 seconds astounds me. Now, if only they could put their shoes on or clean up their toys that quickly!

 

From the moment these little toes set foot in my life, I found myself hooked. It's been 9 months, and I cannot believe how fast time has flown by. He went from a bobble head baby to a crawling locomotive in the blink of an eye, but his smile and sweet nature haven't changed. From wanting to be held all the time to lunging out of my arms because he just wants to move, he hasn't lost his ability to make my heart smile.
I cannot believe how fast they grow, and I find that each second spent with them is another set of memories burned in my mind. I find myself thinking about him and his sister a lot lately, and I am blown away at just how much their little lives have touched mine. They pick up on how I'm feeling even when I try my hardest to put on a brave grown-up face. Even my bravest face holding back the tears can't hide my true feelings from a little two year old, and I am so thankful for that. Sometimes I fight showing emotion simply because I don't enjoy being vulnerable in front of people. I am so thankful for their ability to see past my brave face and lean in for a kiss or a hug when I need it most. Their little quirks and attitudes have brightened some rather gloomy days for me. 

They remind me to cherish the little moments in life....

Dear to My Heart

There has been a matter pressing on my heart, and all I can do about it,for now, is pray.
We, in America, don't really think much about sending a child to school. We might think of public vs private vs homeschooling, but for the most part, it's just something that comes with children growing older. Education is needed in the country, and choosing to not send your child to school goes against the cultural norms.
Growing up, I can remember dreading to go to school. The thought of having to sit for classes for hours killed me. I dreaded every minute of it (well, every minute except for recess and playing sports).
The children that I met at each of the 12 different schools we went to in Kenya were so excited to be at school. They seemed to really love to learn and be filled with knowledge. They attended school at least an hour longer than children here, in America, do, and they were okay with it! The girls I spoke with at the high school were so knowledgeable about the world and their country. They were well educated in not only their language, but also ours. They aspired to attend the university (as they referred to it), and they looked forward to having that final degree to better themselves one step farther.
And, though we saw many, many children in schools, we saw a great deal that were not.
Seeing children working in the tea or maize fields rather than learning with their peers bothered me. Knowing that some children would never grow up with the ability to break the cycle of poverty left me with a frustrated feeling.
I can understand the desire to keep their kids home to help provide for the family, but it still doesn't set well with me. Poverty is a vicious cycle filled with the need to support the family you have but choosing to have more kids to provide more hands to work which, in turn, creates more mouths to feed. When these children are not able to go and get the education needed to get ahead in this life, the cycle will never be broken.
I know that this sort of thing occurs all around the world in many different countries, and possibly even right here in our own, but it still causes me frustration. My heart goes out to the children who do not know of all the possibilities an education can offer, and my heart hurts even more for those who do know what they are missing out on but are unable to do anything about it.
I am but one person with many questions and few answers. And, I know that I am unable to fully fix this problem, but I am able to pray about it. And, until I am able to do anything else about it, I ask that maybe you, too, will join me in prayer. Pray for those little ones who, instead of going to school are out in the fields using a machete or a hoe in the field or garden or are taking care of all the younger siblings. Pray for the parents who are caught in the fight to provide for their family.

Be thankful for the opportunities that we have and the fewer obstacles that we must break through to grab hold of them. 

Restless Fire

I am struggling with being content. I find myself feeling restless day after day. I have felt this way before, but the intensity of these feelings have only grown stronger since Kenya. I feel as though I am wasting away my days. My eyes were opened to just how blessed I am. Not only am I blessed with plenty of food to eat, a rather decent size roof over my head, but I also have access to doctors near by, education, and clean-running water. I knew that not everyone in the world is able to have all of that, but the idea of just what that all implies never hit me til I saw it first hand.
I sit here going over my day which has consisted of changing dirty diapers multiple times, cleaning a pear/oatmeal mixture off my arm and face (thanks to a little guy's sneeze mid bite), cleaning up paint, making musical instruments, being a climbing toy, kissing boo-boos, filling up a pool, sweating next to the pool (if it were bigger, I would've been in it), making lunch, cleaning up squished lunch, reading stories, and giving kisses and tucking in for nap. I am so thankful for the job that I have which is why I am so confused as to why I feel so restless.
After chatting with another fellow nanny, I remembered that feeling restless and frustrated with the day to day routine is normal for those with kids. It's hard when all you see for the majority of your week are pint sized bodies and all you hear are little voices jibber jabbering, and the most intelligent conversation you have generally consists of something to do with the big girl potty verses the diaper while swimming in the pool. When you have "Rain, rain go away" or "Hotdog hotdog, hot diggity dog" stuck in your head all day every day, it can be hard to remember that you are more than just a mess cleaner. I know that it all comes with the package of nurturing and raising children and that with the good comes the bad (and monotonous), but part of me still wonders if it's that usual "nanny itch" or is it something else that's causing these feelings.
I can't help but sit and ponder. Just what am I doing with my life? I know that I am helping to shape a little piece of the next generation and that I am playing an important role in the lives of two beautiful and sweet children. And, I feel so blessed to have this job and truly do love every minute of it. I cannot imagine my life without them. But, I still feel like I am missing something. In the past, I have chosen to push the little voice into the back of my mind, but it's reached an intensity that cannot be muffled. I can't simply brush it away. It's loud, and it's making itself known.
Knowing that I loved Africa so much, and realizing how hard it was for me to part from it makes me think that maybe I feel restless because I left myself there. I went into the trip knowing that I would love the children and love the people, but I underestimated just HOW much I would love them. Their faces and voices evoked inside of me an intensity of love that I was unaware of. Their willingness to listen and their love to sing were inspiring. I lost myself in them somehow and didn't even know it. Leaving them and the friendships that I had built there was one the hardest thing I have ever done. Holding back the tears was harder than I ever thought possible, and knowing that I want to be there at this second but can't is just as hard.
Knowing just how much I love them and how at home I felt with them only feeds into the restless fire that is burning inside me.

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and I can only hope and pray that my years of experience with all sorts of kids and my desire to help and care for people will one day lead me back to Kenya. My heart longs to be back there. So, as I sit here, doing my best to pacify my restless desires, I am going to do everything in my power to give back to those people who changed my life.

My Challenge

Can I truly say that if I were to lose all I had that I would actually gain it all? Can I truly say that I am willing to forfeit the comforts of my home? Can I honestly say that I am willing to leave it all behind if God asked me to? Am I willing to walk away from friends and family and go against all that is deemed "normal" to live a life more pleasing to God? Would I be willing to make a fool of myself in the eyes of those around me for his sake?
I cannot honestly answer- without a shadow of doubt in my mind- yes. Can you?
Each questions seems easy to answer, at first glance, but take the time to truly think about them. Would you? Could you? Choosing to turn your back on what you know as "normal" and "acceptable" takes more than just a simple pivot. It takes strength, courage, desire and dedication- strength to stick to what you feel you are called to do, courage to stand up for it, desire to maintain the passion, and dedication to continue walking toward the very thing that caused you to make the first move.
It's so easy, for me, to ignore what my Father is asking me to do. I have so many ideas for my life I would like to pursue that I often don't hear his soft whisper in my heart. I often miss his guidance in my life because I allow all the other things in my life to distract me. And how can they not? They are loud and in your face and rather demanding. Not my Father. He is, at times, subtle yet persistent. He does not vie for my full attention at all costs.
He patiently waits.
And waits...
And waits...
All the while, never ceasing his soft whispers. He tugs at my heart in a gentle manner that reminds me he is there.
Because I don't feel overly pressured to respond to him, I allow myself to busily attempt to "take care" of the other demands in my life, and I often justify those futile attempts by thinking I will have more time to dedicate toward what God wants. I am content with taking care of those because they, in the end, are predictable. I have a general idea of what I am getting myself into, what others will think, and what will be said when it's all done and over with. It's safe. It's normal, and it's acceptable. But none of them are fulfilling. They leave me with a sense of wanting more. No matter how much I do, no matter how much attention is paid to the bombarding demands, I am left with a feeling of what next with a hint of dread.
Why is it so hard to step out of the comfort bubble that has been cushioning me for longer than I can remember? Why am I so insistent on taking care of the demands that fly at me rather than sitting and listening to what my Father is whispering to me.
Silence.
Being still.
Deep down, my heart longs for it. My heart longs for silence, meaningful silence. My mind and body long for a still moment. I want to be more still, more silent. I want to listen to the whispers that are tugging at my heart. I want to discover just what exactly my Father has been trying to tell me. I want to find my silent, still moment, and I want to truly embrace it and cherish it with every day he graces me with.
I have made this my daily challenge, and though I know I will fail from time to time, I look forward to seeing what God wants to reveal to me.

"Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among

 the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." 

"Tremble and do not sin; when you are on your 

beds, search your heart and be silent."

Time vs Man

No matter how old we are, we all wish there was more time. More time in our day, more time to spend with kids or that special someone, more time to get our check lists done or errands run, more time to work, more time to play. Time...Time...Time...
I feel like my life revolves around time. On any given day, I can be found sitting down and figuring out (either mentally or out on paper) just what my day is going to look like from start to finish. I have come to not understand that down time is a good thing. The moments when there is not a single thing to do should really be coveted rather than dreaded. I always find myself wishing that there were more hours in my day to spend with the people I care about.
But, time, like money, doesn't grow on trees.
I allow the idea of time running out to run my life. I schedule things back to back so that I am not being wasteful with my time. Don't get me wrong, I think it's important to make sure that you are using your time wisely, but there should be a healthy limit to how far you push your schedule. We, as Americans, are generally in a rush. Maybe not 24/7, but more often than not. We feel the pressure of deadlines in our life and instead of prioritizing, we push to get everything done, and we miss out on what's important-Relationships.
I learned a great deal of things while on my trip to Africa, but one of the most important was how incredible it is to put relationships before things. The Kenyan people are said to be "event driven" rather than "time driven." Meaning, they dont' rush around to make sure they are at a conference by 9am when it is suppose to begin. They know they will make it there, and to them, the even lasts all day. They allow themselves to finish the "have to dos" around the house, and if they see a neighbor or friend on the walk to where they're going, they will stop to chat or say hello. They don't blow by the person because they have to be somewhere by a certain time.
Every meal we had was a sit down meal that consisted of food out on the table or buffet style and everyone sitting around the table. We all enjoyed our meal together which allowed us to share about the day that we were about to begin or had just finished. Fewer and fewer families actually make it a point to teach their children from a young age the importance of sitting together for a family meal. And, I put sitting together in bold print because so many parents allow their children to eat before the adults do, or the kids eat at the table and dad or mom at the computer or tv. Even as children get older, they need to be made to sit down and have a family meal.
I deepened relationships with people because of these meals. My day felt more full, even if I just walked around and talked to the school kids, walked to the orphanage, walked up the hill to a village, or sat out front and chatted with a random person, the fact that I invested in lives made me feel full.
As human beings, we were created for relationships. We enjoy talking and listening and interacting. Jesus had 12 men that he shared his days with, and he had other friends outside of that 12 that he spent time with. He didn't walk past a man on the side of the road or a woman with a sick child. He took the time to converse, to heal, and to teach. He made it a point to invest in lives and make relationships. His focus was people and not time lines.
If it weren't for the Kenyan's view on time (or lack there of), there is a good chance that I wouldn't have formed the connections to these amazing people below.

Pastor James and Damon

Sweet Joe

Big Rob

Daison

(There are many more that I now consider lifetime friends, but I am saving them for another post.)

I challenge you. The next time you are pressed for time but see your neighbor outside or a friend around, take the time to say hi and find out how they're really doing. Maybe even take the chance to invite them for dinner and be sincere about it. You might be surprised by just how much encouragement you receive from such a simple act.
People before time.....

Who Knew?!

In preparing to move the same day that I arrived home from Kenya, I had in my mind that I would have tons of help. That thought came to a screeching halt when I remembered that all of my friends down here either worked just as much, if not more than I do, or would be on the 14 plus hour flight with me. At that point, I wasn't sure how I was going to pull off my move, but my dear family stepped in to save the day. My mom, aunt, and cousin so willingly offered to drive down here from NY (a 12 hour drive) for the weekend simply for moving purposes. I am so very thankful for their kindness. If it weren't for them, I would've been moving by myself or with the help of a very exhausted friend and her husband (which would make for a rather moody time).
Sunday was my aunt's birthday, so I wanted to say thank you and happy birthday the best way I know how, by baking. Obviously, I wanted to make a cake. I had one yellow cake mix left, so I planned to bake while she was out for the morning and surprise her with it. Again, my thoughts came to an end when I realized that I did not have frosting, the ingredients to make frosting, or the money to buy frosting (since my wallet was MIA-yet another post). "Hmmm...what to do now," I thought. While scouring my very disorganized kitchen, I stumbled upon frozen strawberries. Perfect! I thought. I will make a strawberry sauce to go on top of my cake, kind of like strawberry shortcake (only not...).

So, ingredients were mixed (shortening was melted to make up for the lack of vegetable oil), and I was set to bake. Well, I was until I realized that the oven I had turned on 10 minutes ago was still cold. "Hmmm..." I thought again. "How do I bake a cake without an oven?" After all that effort to surprise my aunt with a cake, I  ended up surprising her with cake batter in a cake pan. It's the thought that counts, right?!

So, what did I do with the batter? My aunt suggested this...

Enter microwave

Yep, I decided to microwave my cake batter. I had never done such a thing, but according to some online forums about baking, it could be done in 7 minutes. I figured, "what do I have to lose?"

All I had to find was a baking dish that would fit in my microwave.

And...

Voila.... cake.

For my first take at microwaving baked items, I think it turned out pretty well.

Cluttered house, cluttered mind

So many things have been on my mind as of late. Things like "now where are my kitchen utensils" or "which box should I open next?" If you were a fly on my wall yesterday, you would have heard things like, "are you serious?! No internet again? Gosh, why can't Time Warner work for me just this once?!" Or, you might have heard "where did I just put that hammer and nail?" I have been back in the states for 5 whole days, and I am ready to leave again. It's not that I don't enjoy being back. I do, to an extent. Being completely disconnected from the world was refreshing. As soon as I boarded the plane for Ethiopia, I turned my phone off and planned on not talking to another person in the US til I returned.
Upon my return, I was greeted by 7 voicemails, 4 of which were in regards to insurance issues that called for urgent responses. I felt like as soon as we touched down in DC, everything was a blur. People were rushing, conversations were sped up, and politeness was no where to be found. It was nice to be removed from all that for a while, but I am back now and things demand my attention. Things like the boxes hiding behind my spare bedroom door awaiting the contents to be removed.
I want to sit down and write out all the memories I made and the lessons I learned while in Kenya, but until my life is no longer cluttered by unpacked boxes, I will keep the memories and lessons to myself. Bare with me, I promise I will share them as soon as I am able to put my full attention to it.

I'm back

I'm back, and though my journey to Africa seems like it has come to a close, I can't help but think of how this journey has really only begun. For those of you who have been following my blog posts (and if you'd like to publicly follow me you can do so by clicking follow to the right of this post, subscribing, or choose to receive these posts via email) you know that I have been preparing to venture off to Africa for months. Well, the two week trip flew by faster than I could blink, and I am already looking forward to the time that I can return.
This post is just going to be a brief overview of my thoughts about the trip. I'm sure I will have many posts to come surrounding all the mini adventures and lessons that were met along the way.
Back in February, I prepared myself to leave a part of me in Africa. Having never been to a foreign country, I knew that things would be different than it is here in America, and I knew that there would be a large difference between the poor in America and the poor in Kenya. I knew that I would see children much thinner than children here. I knew that I would encounter people who shared a one room house with five other people. I knew that I would gaze upon the faces of inquisitive children and not be able to truly help them (or so I thought). I knew that I would run into language barriers, and I knew that beginning conversations with people of another country might pose to be a bit difficult for me. I knew that my comfort levels concerning food and living arrangements would be altered, but, like I said before, I was prepared for that.
I wasn't, on the other hand, prepared to have my heart completely lost forever in a tiny village so small it doesn't appear on any maps. I didn't expect to tear up when I saw the living conditions of the orphan kids, and I certainly did not expect to see them as happy as they were. I certainly did not expect those of another country and language to teach me about true love, nor did I expect them to receive me as quickly as they did. I didn't expect to encounter so much joy in conditions we consider to be quite terrible.
Despite the amount of times we went out to minister to different schools surrounding the village, I did not expect myself to learn from them. Their love for life and each other is so pure and vibrant.Their voices are almost angelic in sound, and they are so willing to share their talents with others.
All I can say is that I truly fell in love with the people of Choimim, and I miss them dearly. They are such a special people and have taught me more than I had ever expected.